Clive Comes of Age

May was referred to us first. She and her husband had run the farm but her husband died many years ago and she had given up the big house and moved to a bungalow on the edge of the land. These bungalows can be found all over the area, housing retired farmers or their widows who have passed the reins to their offspring and are spending their autumn years happily interfering from the sidelines while not having to get up at dawn to do the milking. May had three sons and two farms to pass on but that was ok because Clive was never going to need a farm.
If Clive had been born now he would have gone to a mainstream school, possibly had learning support one to one and then hopefully he would have gone on to some sort of vocational training, maybe even ending up living independently. As it was, he was born sixty years ago and when his family realised he was "a bit simple" they limited his life. I do not mean to imply that they did this with anything but the best of intentions. May loved her son but she had done absolutely everything for him and the result was a completely helpless man, totally dependent and hidebound by rigid routines from which he would not deviate. She kept him at her side and he learned to knit huge wonky scarves and watched all the soap operas with her while his brothers grew up and took their place in the adult world.
This did not pose a huge problem until May died. Various aunties, female cousins and neighbours were willing to help but it was hard to imagine Clive coping at all. It seemed May had left things arranged so that Clive was financially secure and social services stepped in with morning and evening care with his brothers paying privately for nights. Nobody held out much hope for it working but Clive surprised us all by coping better than anyone could have predicted.
He is still given to routine, meals at exact times, certain television programmes, getting up and going to bed at the same time but in other ways Clive has blossomed. He dresses himself, he does his own dishes, he even tries new foods occassionally - all new skills learned in the months he has been living in the bungalow alone. It isn't all plain sailing, his medication seems to make him very nauseous and very sleepy and there are times when he cries for his mother, it's been a long road. We have a male carer who does nights there and he was telling me today that Clive had told him he would like to stay up and watch the football with him. When the carer had said that was great but what had brought this on Clive said "It's nice to have a bit of time with the lads, there's too many women coming in here!" - yes, Clive is blossoming at last, I'm sure May would be completely horrified .....